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Target Marketing

Target Marketing

Cereal Killer:
Don’t let 2020 be, like, 2020.

NEWTOWN HIGH SCHOOL MASCOTS

1968: Indian Chief

 

1998: Nighthawk

(a small-beaked bird)

2020: Nighthawk

 

NEWTOWN HIGH SCHOOL
FOOTBALL UNIFORM

William “Bruce” Jenner
1968

The Unknown Soldier
2020

NEWTOWN HIGH SCHOOL 
NOTABLE ALUMNI

William “Bruce” Jenner
1976

Caitlyn Jenner
2015

Adam Lanza
2012

NEWTOWN BUSINESSES

Fairfield Hills Psychiatric Hospital
Closed 1995

National Shooting Sport Foundation
1998

Crisis Acting

Kent State
1970

Parkland
2018

Mexico
2019

POPULAR XMAS GIFTS

You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out

A Moral Compass in the Stock
1930

Go Fund Yourself

A War on Us
2019

THE UPSHOT

We’re Part of a Complete
Nutritious Breakfast

Don’t Let 2020
Be Like 2020

Thar She Blows

Thar She Blows

Call me Trishmael.

Some years ago–never mind how long precisely –having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off–then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.